As a new Grandma, I was so overwhelmed with the bundle of joy my daughter brought to this word. My time of being a full-time mother has shifted into my new life of being a grandparent. I could not wait to buy this beautiful baby everything from toys to a whole room full of pampers. I was on a roll, but I fail to realize that my daughter was not too happy that I was taking over her job. My daughter is a great mother and the most loveable individual in the world but as her mom, I did not know when to stop helping and let her take control of her new family. I promised myself that when my daughter had children, I would be there for her no matter what. I was going to be that super grandma who goes through fire and never let go. Which was not a good idea, my daughter appreciated everything but I had to stop taking control, I was a car with no breaks. Nevertheless, I finally was stopped in my tracks by a very special friend, who told me that I needed to give my daughter some space and let her be the parent, which she was right. She made a valuable point which I did not see and it was the hard pill to swallow, but I knew that I was a great mother to my daughter I am sure she will be a great mom as well.
What I learned from this process:
1- Step back and give them room
2- Wait for them to ask for help.
3- Try to not overbear them with your experience.
4- Give advice not force the issue.
5- Don’t tell them how to take care of their children but merely give suggestions or recommendations.
6- Just let them know that you are on the sidelines if they ever need assistance.
7- Enjoy being a grandmother.
I just learned where to stand as a grandparent at the same time enjoy my grandchildren without being their parent. Now I have the great pleasure knowing that my daughter has it all under control without my interference with her parenting skills and we are the best of friends.
I wonder if I was the only grandparent who took over and did not give their children a chance to be the parent? I would love to hear your stories.